BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP THAT LAST

Is a relationship all about love. How does your partner sees or value integrity and moral character? What about issues of Sexual purity, Exam Malpractice, Moral Uprightness, Bribery, Corruption etc? What values have you built over the years? What has been your vision? What are your long and short term goals? What are you living for? Do you and your partner share the same values?
       This reminds me of a story of a couple who just got married. They got into a hot argument a day after their wedding which led to a divorce. Guess what caused their argument “Toothpaste”. The groom was angry because the wife pressed the tooth paste tube from the middle, and the husband was very angry. He said,”we press the tube from the bottom end in my family while the wife fired back “we press it from the middle”! After a hot disagreement, a fight ensued and it led to a strain in their relationship and they finally broke up. What will be your spouse reaction if you find a bag containing $8,000 in a cab which you brought home, you are suggesting that you will return it to the cops so that they can identify the owner? Now, little things count in relationships if you don’t want suffer a heart break. There is the place of wisdom, patience and understanding but more importantly a partner who shares the same values with you will save you from headaches and heartaches when issues arises.
     Be in relationship with someone with whom you share the same conviction,values and passions. If you are not yet in a relationship, don’t forget this lesson and if you are in a wrong relationship, I think you will need a counsellor with integrity. Your relationship is your life. Treat it with all sense of importance.
Olalekan Olamide.

 

JUST KISSING AND SQUEEZING

 

      Please, do imagine this and give me your opinion about it. There’s a man who has promised and vowed that he’ll never have sex with another woman apart from his wife. Meanwhile, he has been kissing lips
and squeezing, smooching, and sucking the boobs of another lady. He says, “I haven’t broken my vows, after all, I haven’t had sex yet. While you’re still imagining it, let me give you a
clue into my main point here. There are many young guys and ladies who have vowed or promised God one way or another they’ll keep their virginity till marriage. They’re currently in relationship with someone they really love and would wish to marry God willing, they want to keep both their relationship and the vow. Unfortunately, they keep insisting on ‘no sex’ – just kissing, smooching, squeezing and sucking of boobs and just a few other things like that –
without the real thing (sex). (This is true with a lot of ladies who vowed to keep their virginity and still engage in a serious/intimate relationship). Girls believes that once the Hymen can be kept intact without penetration, guys assume that once they’ve not gotten to the point of ejaculating inside, they’re still maintaining their virginity.
The above may seem to be too direct for some people, but it’s the means/trick through which many ladies have lost their virginity and dignity
untimely for ever, many whom were once steadfast in the service of the Lord, but has now gone back. They fell and couldn’t stand tall again.
A lot of young people kept rising and falling in this state, they’re in love with someone who already know sex or who assured them of only kissing,
touching, and probably a little bit of squeezing – without sex; unfortunately, such things does not
exist. Some of such victims (both male & female) have resigned to saying “It’s not possible to avoid
premarital sex”, that’s the message they’re now preaching to teenagers who are going to also become victims… because they themselves has fallen. God is now looking for remnants, not multitudes! Beloved, purity is good and honorable, even in this dispensation, your body is only for God and your would-be spouse (don’t be generous with it); it’s not for your boyfriend or girlfriend. 1 Corinthians
6:19-20. Some will say, intimate relationship without sex is possible once you can control yourself. I have no problem with self-control, but let me ask the honest guys here one question; is it possible not to
have erection when kissing or squeezing your girlfriend’s boobs?
In fact, I know from experience that beyond having erection, your pant might also be wet, yet you say you’ve not had sex. (Make no mistakes, so it’s for females too).

Date ‘only’ if you have to, don’t when it’s not necessary. Ask me when is it necessary? Finally, sex – for me, is any intimate act that can happen between two or more people, ranging from
kissing, body romance, cunnilingus, fellatio, squeezing and touching of sensitive body parts, which may or may not lead to intercourse -for
sexual gratification. If you feel this speaks of you but you still have
some doubts, then you be the judge in the case of that husband who says he hasn’t broken his vow, because he has only been kissing and squeezing. Be sincere with yourself enough to admit your error, and be wise!
                               Fadunmo Abiodun

BBM PIN -7F60A250

 

WHAT IS THE REAL ESSENCE OF MARRIAGE?

         Why do you want to get married? Different people have different reasons for going into marriage. Some do because of societal expectations. Some do because their mates are married. Some do because they have been lonely all their life and want a companion. Some do because they want someone they can call their own. Some do because they want someone who will help with their house chores, and cooking. Some do because they want children. Some do because, “it is better to marry than to burn.” Some do because they want someone who will save them from poverty and lack. Some do because they would like to be addressed as “Mr &Mrs.” The reasons go on and on.
       What is your own reason? If you get married for the wrong reason, it is likely you get married to the “wrong person” (wrong person, not because they are bad in themselves; but wrong person, because you both do not agree -remember that, two cannot walk together except they agree). Why do you want to get married? If you get this right, you will likely get married to the right person (Right person, not because they are “perfect” and will always “make you happy”, or because they are finished products; but right person, because you both agree, and can walk together.)
          What does it mean to agree; and agree on what, you may ask. Does it mean you will think the same way, have same preferences, share same hobbies, have no reason to disagree, like the same kinds of food, etc? No. God did not create us all the same. Even if He did, we did not all grow in the same environments… neither do we have same backgrounds. Even if we did, we have different personalities and temperaments. In other words, we are all different. I have not yet seen two people that are exactly the same.
Nevertheless, there are some core values that we must share and agree on, if we must walk together. I tell you, this has nothing to do with you being born again or not; just the same way anyone that has the key to a room opens it… whether they are born again or not. I have seen unbelievers who have been “happily” married for years and do not wish or plan to go their separate ways. You know why? Because they agree. They have mutual values they hold dear. They have common values they share. These
values may not be biblical, but truth is, these values hold them together.
Why do we get married? The Bible says, “Two are better than one.”
This tells me that despite our diversities and differences, two can walk together and yield better results when they agree. It tells me that despite our lack of uniformity, we can do much in unity. No matter how much you can achieve on your own, if
someone agrees with you, you will do ten times more; following the principle of “one chasing a thousand, and two chasing ten thousand.” Does that mean every and any two will yield the
ten thousand result? No. Only the two that walk together in agreement will.
It is better to walk alone and be assured of your one thousand result, than to walk with a “wrong person” and have no result. What kind of result do you want in life? What is your purpose? If you do not get this right before getting married, you may not get marriage right (Well, it depends on the kind of marriage you want).

           It takes a purpose-driven marriage to stand the test of time; the test of personality clashes; the test of different approaches to getting the
same results etc. And a purpose-driven marriage consists of two purpose-driven individuals. In other words, it takes two purpose-driven individuals to make a purpose-
driven marriage. With such, we cannot experience, or encounter “irreconcilliable differences”. That is why it is important to get it right from the beginning; because, if the foundation is faulty, the righteous will be helpless… except God intervenes.
What do you look for in a marriage partner? Just one thing. It determines everything else: Your ability to walk together. That is the essence of
marriage. If that factor is out of it, there is no point and no reason to get married. Two that are better than one, are two that can walk together.
Remember that, “Two cannot walk together except they agree.” Any two that agree, will walk together.
Now, what they agree on is unique to them. They can agree to serve God, love God, and fulfill their purpose together. They can agree to stick to
their marriage, make it work and enjoy it no matter what happens. Whatever, they must agree to walk
together. If you are a child of God and your priority in life is to fulfill God’s purpose for your life, God can help
you with that decision. Without Him, you don’t even know what to agree on. It all begins with Him. The Bible says, “Two are better than one”; it also
says “Two cannot walk together except they agree.” And this is my conclusion,Two people that are in agreement are better than one.” Amen. For you, your marriage is not about you; it is about God… same as your life. It has been a lengthy post. I hope I made some sense and i hope you got my point? May the Lord increase your understanding…
                       
                           Bimbola Tayo-Bamidele