A CONDOM FOR THE HEART

I remember many years ago, reading an article about condoms. There was a big debate at the time as to whether condoms would slow down the sexual revolution and really make sex safer.
There was a quote from a Catholic priest which I’ll never forget. He said, “I’ll believe in condoms when they come up with a condom for the heart.”
We live in time when condoms are thrown out into the crowd, telling you if you’re going to have sex you simply have to protect yourself. But I have yet to find a condom for the heart. When I
say heart, I’m talking about you…your deepest emotions, the way you look at your self, and how you feel about the one you love. I have talked to hundreds of people who cannot
erase the regret and pain that has been brought on by having sex with their boyfriend, girlfriend or even a stranger. This is a pain that no condom can ever protect you from.
Everybody is looking for someone who will love them unconditionally. Sex alone will not fill that void. In fact, casual sex will just leave you empty,
but wanting more, making the ache deeper and deeper. Julianne says it really well: “Why have sex over a feeling that can come and then go.
Sure sex is fun and a thrill, but the heartache and worries are NOT WORTH IT!! Ride a roller-coaster
or go on a trip if you need thrill and excitement. [Lovers] come and go, but babies, STD’s, and regret stay.”
Condoms can’t protect you from feeling like you can’t ever get enough of the other person’s love. I received a comment from Lucy, who talked
about having sex for the first time at age 13, and the attachment she automatically felt for the guy: “When this happened, it was the biggest
mistake of my life. I lost something I will never be able to get back. I was so madly in love with this guy, had such low-confidence, and was willing to do anything to keep this guy in my life.
Having sex was what he wanted, and all he wanted. We did not use a condom, and surprisingly, it was not my biggest regret. I was used, and then dropped. I am still not able to get
over this guy. We don’t talk anymore—he hates me. Sadly, I’d still do anything to be close with him again. I wasn’t ready and now I’m so
emotionally attached.” Tragically, Lucy still does not understand she is
set up for more hurt if she goes back to this guy. Because, like all of us, she has not found a condom for her heart. She is playing with emotional unprotected sex. Anthony admits that guys don’t have a condom for their heart either: “Me and my girlfriend were going out for about a year and a half when we had sex for the first time. Every time after that all she wanted was sex. I didn’t want to but I
thought I loved her so I gave in. When she thought she was pregnant, things went down hill. Good thing for us she wasn’t. When we broke up she thought that I was using her for sex when I never really wanted to.”
Condoms don’t protect your reputation. When Tiffany was 16, she had already had sex with ten different guys. She painfully explains her situation: “After the third guy I was really wanting to kill myself because all the guys in my town were calling me the town ho, but I just wanted to get pregnant so someone would love
me. Well, I did get pregnant. But after the guy found out he beat me up—and like he was trying to do—I had a miscarriage.” Too bad Tiffany didn’t have a condom to protect
her reputation, but there’s no such thing. Condoms also cannot prevent you from feeling cheap. Mandi shares how she carries a lot of the heaviness and shame that came from having
sex: “I dated a guy who told me he loved me, and how wonderful things would be. He forced me to have sex and then broke up with me. I felt so
ashamed for going out with him and didn’t understand how he could do that. I felt like it was all my fault. I lost a lot of my self-respect. I felt like no guy would ever really love me.”
All of these stories prove a point. Condoms only do what are they are designed to do and that is to help with birth control and protect from STDs.
Sometimes they fail even doing that. But they are not designed to protect your heart from being broken with irresponsible and uncommitted sex.
Until you find a partner who will stay committed to you for the rest of your life, you will always experience the pain and regret of a heart without
a condom.

A Condom for The Heart

 

BEAM OF LOVE

                     Falling in Love.

Falling in love is a common phrase to the ear. In a week you hear the phrase at least once, or you think of it in your mind. It has become a common thing, which often surface in songs, in radio programs and in movies. However, it is so rare hearing the phrase “staying in love”. Falling in love sounds easy but staying in love comes with a responsibility.

     So what is this tingling feeling, we most times call, falling in love and the groaning thing called staying in love (permit me to put it like that). There is a story I read sometimes ago about a legendary Comedian called Jack Benny who was a shy young man. The first time he met Mary Livingstone he bowled at her beauty. He desperately wanted to build a relationship with her but he was nervous, so he decided to have a florist deliver one long-stemmed of rose to her office.

He did this for several days until she was finally able convinced the florist to tell her the name of the guy who kept sending her roses. The florist replied “well it’s a guy whose name is Jack Benny, and he would like to take you on a date with him. That marked the beginning of a wonderful relationship.
    On everyday of the courtship, Jack sent her one long-stemmed red rose then they got married. After the wedding Mary thought “well, I guess the red roses will stop now that we are married. To her surprise and joy, she got a stem of rose every single day of their married life!

     Then in December 1974, Jack Benny died. The very next day, the doorbell rang and Mary opened the door to find the familiar florist with the daily rose. Mary tearfully spoke of the passing of her husband and said,”So you can see there is no need for you to bring the roses anymore” but to her surprise the Florist said “Oh, I know, but before he died, Mr. Benny made arrangements with me to bring you one long stemmed red rose every day for the rest of your life”.

        Falling in Love is sweet. What thrills you to fall in love… physical attributes, finance, influence,beauty,ambition,character or talent of your would be Lover. What does it takes for the love to last? Do you ever consider your lover to be a snoring person, may be a little lazy or how do you pay the bills? The issue of love is not a quick matter or do you think the decision should be a quick one? Will a man want to build a house and not calculate the cost whether he has enough to finish it? Otherwise he lays the foundation and he is not able to finish it?

    There was a lady I was wooing sometime ago, she asked me “All these things you are doing to get me if I accept now won’t that be the end “? I took time to reflect on the question. Is this not the question in the heart of most gentleman or lady? Falling in love is a marathon not a sprint race.
                                               

Olalekan Olamide

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